MORNING GLORIES (and the art of infrequent celebrations)

by manyzs

No, not the flowers. This is NOT a blog about the world’s pretty things. Although the world is full of wonderous…shrubbery, writing about it is not my calling. The glories the title of this post refer to, are the moments of peace and quiet that you find when you get out of bed before eveyone else does. A simple thing. But so hard to do.

I spent roughly twenty years celebrating the late night hours. Mainly because I was such a nerd in grade school. Years of being the rejected kid, the one even other nerds didn’t want to hang out with, created a deeply rooted drive and ambition to show them all just how cool I can be. This is a recent discovery. I found them there in my head during my practice – a chorus of grade school kids that my memory had drawn up and cast in the role of coolness jury. I have been tirelessly performing for them since college. 10 points for clubbing, 20 for house parties, bonus points for dancing until dawn, negative points for going to bed early and missing a premier, opening or costume ball. I had convinced myself that partying, including during the week, was who „I was”. The price of this stubborn conviction was going up with every year. Kids were born and needed time and attention. Work became more challenging. My body needed more rest and nourishment. Despite these convicing circumstances, on and on I danced. Until recently.

I am now 38 years old and my party is over. Not because I made a grand exit and am waiting in the wings to get called back for seconds. No such decision was made. I simply found myself getting up at 6:00 to meditate before the kids woke up, the phone started ringing, the emails started arriving. The days I managed were invariably good days. So much better then the underslept, hung-over days ever were. On those successful mornings, I found myself sitting in a happy, alert body and mind. Soon enough, I began craving those mornings and adjusting the hem of my evenings until I ended up with…what you could call a mini skirt. My days now end at 10pm. Very inappropriate, by my former standards! The reward is silence and solitude. Sunrises. A very difference pleasure then careening around a dancefloor or socializing over cocktails.

Don’t get me wrong – socializing is a fanastic treat and the value of celebration is still very dear to me. Making happy with people, hearing music with friends, spending adult time away from work and family – all these are a part of what makes community fun. But like any dessert, you just can’t going around stuffing yourself. I tell my kids this all the time. I’m very grateful that I finally, however unintentionally, took my own advice.

Whoops – would you look at the time? Good night.